Reflections

I think it is time for my last post concerning this week of european exchange. It has been a long week for me with eighteen hour days due to blogging each night. And yet if anyone would ask me to repeat it, I'd do it in a heartbeat. The week went fast, but thanks to this blog i'll be able to remember it for a very long time. I want to take this opportunity to thank Communicare and especially the hard work of Mathias Mellgren that made this seminar a reality and gave me and the other swedes an opportunity of a lifetime. I want to thank Klas Johansson for giving me the chance as it was through him I got the offer. And finally I want to thank the other swedes as well for a great job and an awesome teamwork.

What I thought then...

I was originally asked to participate in this seminar and do all the exercises and events and then put that in a sort of final report for Mathias and the others. I thought “well, it's going to give me a chance to see what Communicare is trying to do as an organisation and I'll get some practice on my English”. I basically treated it as a sort of reference to put on my CV as volunteer work.

What really happened...

When the actual seminar started, things changed. The discussions were very interesting, I really felt I cared, and I soon knew that I wouln't “just” put it on my CV as volunteer work.

I started meeting friends, got a lot of laughs, and since we spent all day talking about opinions, ideas and views, I felt I got to learn more about these people than I did my class in upper secondary school. And I went there for three years!

Soon I had a lot of friends that I talked to every day, and working was fun. I realised I really treated it as work, not just a happening. That means that I pour my heart into it, I take pride in what I do and I want the end result to be perfect. Doing blog posts at 2am or 3am wasn't a problem any more. Eighteen hour days felt like three hours, so I never understood why I felt tired some mornings.

Something else happened as well. I realised I have no fear what so ever talking to people or holding presentations. There is no ounce of fear left in me when I get on stage. I also learned that writing is still one of my greatest skills. Putting thoughts into words isn't something that I consider a process in writing these blogs, it just happens.

And then I started to get responses from the other participants and getting readers. This fact spurred me even more to keep doing my job. Sometimes I felt like saying “i'll finish it tomorrow, I'm to tired”. I decided to go and put some T-shirts in the cupboard, and I found my Nike shirt. It had the letters “Just do it” written on it.

Stuff like this motivated me to keep updating, knowing that people the next day were expecting me to have a new update so that they could follow the events. And I've managed to keep that flow, partly because Mathias has been awesome putting up the pictures each evening, giving me even more tools to make the blog as good as possible.

Note: That reminds me I'm going to go back and clear up the spelling errors I've made. It's like an itch that really need to be scratched, so that'll happen on Monday most likely.

On Thursday I got a call from a friend that wanted to talk about our plans for Easter. I was stunned. I realised that this week wouldn't be permanent. I also realised that my regular life had been forgotten for a full four days. The reality check gave the the incentive to start thinking about what I had learned and maybe try and use that for future employment possibilities, maybe try and land a job that gives me similar opportunities.

And then Friday came along. I had to say the word “goodbye” a lot. A lot more than I wanted to, to be sure. I vowed to myself that no matter what I would try hard and meet these people again and above all start seeing the world.

It ended as it should with dear friends sitting around a table chatting away laughing hard, spending the wee hours just enjoying the company.

Aftermath...

So what has this week meant to me? The question is very simple, but the answer is not.

It's like sitting in the closet, with a small light as the only company, and suddenly a strong wind comes along and throws the door open and light flows in.

I realised my comfort zone. I like socializing with people, strangers or friends, doesn't matter. I like talking, argumentation, thinking, analysing and writing. I found out that I had an interest in trying to come up with solutions to a very real problem.

I've also met friends. Very dear friends, good friends. The European union just grew a little bit smaller for me and boring old Sweden will no longer be my limit.

I'm taking with me these facts and a strong motivation to make something out of it. On Monday I'm going to have a little chat with my coach and start forming a plan for how to best use these realisations.

If you'd ask me a week ago if I wanted to work with youth unemployment I'd probably say “No, I'm educated in web-development and that's what I want to do”. Today it'd most likely be “Yes!”. God, I love short answers!

I've written my own action plan:

1) Finish the blog (check files, put in some more links where needed, check for spelling)

2) Think about the Future (new skills, putting them to work, finding out what I want to do again).

3) Apply for work experience at Communicare (getting experience, developing the new set of skills I have found, finding new ones).

4) Writing new CV's and send them out (giving it a chance, taking the step out into the world).

Final thoughts...

I was afraid that after this week i'd go back to my old boring day-to-day experience. But I realise that that's the same thing as giving up. I have grown tremendously this week, and I'm striving to grow even more. Sooner than you know you'll see me walking through the door and it will all be like we left yesterday.

Thank you all.

Jonas Peltomäki, jonas.peltomaki@gmail.com, Karlstad Sweden (for now).